Still Waiting

I realized that on yesterday's post, I did not share any of the beautiful pictures of the park - only the boys exercising!  Here's just a few - 

Looked like Hawaii (minus the pagodas ;-))  We heard the heat index was 112 degrees.  We were drenched in sweat!

Some of the translations here are quite funny.

Still waiting with no Visas!  I tried to convince Travis to fly home today with the boys but he would not hear of it.  I reminded him that we are now the proud owners of a "Happy Dino" umbrella stroller and a gifted Ergo, and that we could make it even if the babies were crying.  He just smiled. ;-)  I am so anxious for at least one of us to get to our children!

It's funny, we really haven't been here that much longer than initially planned.  It's been 3 days since we found out about the government shutdown which makes it feel a bit longer.  It's a bit of a nightmare to my Mama's heart to have half of my children so far away and for this long.  

And yet there is much to be thankful for.  We are safe, we have accomodations, and access to pretty much whatever we need.  We are in very good hands here, and we serve a loving sovereign God.  Half of my family is here with me.  And I keep thinking about Miriam Ibrahim, the Sudanese woman married to an American, who was imprisoned and sentenced to death for her faith this spring.  She delivered her baby in prison.  We just saw on the news last night that she has been released.  Nothing could even come close to such a scenario.

It's been interesting to see how others react.  Some are crying.  Some are contacting there congressmen.  Amy is being interviewed by CBS news out of Denver tonight at nine!

 Jeremiah, Grace, and Reed

Jeremiah and Grace were in the same foster home and are buddies!  Usually the run around and flap their hands up and down, but that is a little harder to catch on film.  ;-)

Someone in the States anonymously treated us all to a pizza party this afternoon.  Otherwise we mostly stayed near the phone, just in case! 

Grace and I

We just received an update that the Consulate here will not work tomorrow.  However, they will go into the office on Sunday morning at 10:00 am to check and see if the system is up and running in DC.  If it is, they will begin issuing Visas at that point.  Hopefully that will be the case!

Waiting....

Last night received word that there was a worldwide "drop" (shut down?) in Washington DC and that no Visas were able to be issued.  Unfortunately, we cannot leave the country without Reed and Grace's Visas.  We cannot leave the city, as their passports are at the Visa office with our applications.

We were told to get rest and meet in the lobby at 8:30am, and our guides sounded hopeful.  We were told the government would be working through the night.

This morning when we entered the lobby I could tell there was no news (or not good news) based on people's faces.  Psalm 34:14-15 began to run through my head - "But I trust in you O Lord; I say you are my God.  My times are in your hands..." We ate breakfast and were told to stay in the hotel or Starbucks (they know American's vices!) in case things changed.

Back to the room we headed to pack.  Our family was peaceful and somewhat hopeful that we would still be able to make our flight to the US tomorrow night from Shanghai, as we had a full extra day of cushion in Shanghai.

Our usual lunch of peanut butter bananas (bananas courtesyof the breakfast buffet) and ramen noodles (courtesy of 7-11 next door ;-)

By 4pm there were still no Visas and our guides told us we would not be able to make our flight to the states tomorrow night.  We would need to leave our hotel by 10am to make all the right transfers and connections and that is unlikely. As I felt myself get a bit choked I thought "My times are in your hands."  I can be peaceful.  God is in control.  Praying that our responses will bring God glory to those around us.

24 hour fitness!  Caleb, Mason, and I went to a beautful nearby park while babies napped and Daddy did school.

We stopped and got McDonalds ice cream cones on the way home.  Mason's was green tea and Caleb's vanilla with coffee!  It was so yummy we went back
so I could get one.  ;-)

At this point things are very up in the air.  It is difficult to be so far from home with no phone service and not speak the language.  Trying to figure out a good plan for my kids over email and texting is a bit stressful.  Thankfully my kids are in wonderful hands and we've been blessed with unbelievable guides.  Despite my readiness to be home and with my other children, the Lord has given us all a peace today.  God's grace I am sure.

I am on the phone with American Airlines right now trying to sort some of these decesions out.  They can get us out this weekend for $24,000.  Not encouraging.  They can get us out next week for an additional $8,500.  Please pray for wisdom and that we would be able to get home safely and soon.  Despite my peaceful day, I can feel my fears being a bit stirred as we have on CNN - talking about the plane crash in Taiwan today and the other plane that went missing our Algeria.  I'm choosing not to watch.  "My times are in your hands".

We'll keep you posted as we can.  Much love to you all from China!

Last Full Day in Guangzhou!

This morning was our Consulate appointment at the US Embassey.  This was the appointment that our whole trip was scheduled around to apply for our children's Visas to the US.  All adoptive families in China must come here to obtain the Visas.

Tomorrow they will be delivered to our hotel at 4:20pm and then we depart for the airport 1 hour later.  We will fly into Shanghai, spend the night, and then some combination of our family will visit Grace's foster home - Shanghai Healing Home.  After her difficult first day with us, we've decided that it could be too hard on her little heart to go back and visit.  We do not want her to experience the grief she did the first day of having to say goodbye again.  So either Travis or I will stay back with her, while the rest of the family visits and delivers gifts.  That evening (Friday) we will fly out of Shanghai to Dallas, and then Dallas to Denver!

Our group, minus Ron and Celese who had their Consulate appointment yesterady.

As our trip is coming to a close, we've had some wonderfully deep conversations as a family.  Caleb and Mason understand that we did not bring them here to see China, or experience the culture, although that was a wonderful bonus.  We brought them to experience the gospel in this unique way, and live it out.  I believe they've done that.  Travis told me when Caleb was two and Mason was one, that he wanted to adopt when they were old enough to understand why we were doing it.  In His loving kindness, God has brought that to fruition.

We've also discussed the parallels between Reed and Grace's adoption, with OUR adoption into God's family.  Just as their story began with great loss, so did ours - a seperation from Christ that cost Jesus his life.  And just as their has been a beautiful redemption for each of us, so there is redemption for Reed and Grace.  As we have a new identity, so do they.  Not because of anything Travis or I have done, but all because of Christ.  

Just today we had opportunity to talk through how Reed and Grace have habits that need to be re-taught.  Yes, they have come from broken backgrounds and have had difficult things.  And yet the loving thing to do is to begin re-teaching them correctly, just as we have had to re-learn life as new Christians.  I am amazed at the grace God has poured out - it is so much easier to be patient with them than my biological children.  Partially because I have no expectations for them to behave correcty.  And partially (to my shame) I do not struggle with their behavior being a reflection of my parenting.  I have not been a part of their lives since birth.  I need to grow more in my parenting at home and not be so prideful - that is where the shame comes in.  I need to continue to grow in my identity and not worry about what other's are thinking.

Lastly, we've discussed sacrificial love, what it means to lay down our lives for another, and how Jesus has done that for each of us.  We've discussed the Great Commission, and what God might have next for our family now that we have a connection with this culture.  While we believe that we are done adding to our family, we are very open to whatever God might have for us to share the love of Jesus.  We are excited, and looking forward with anticipation to where God might lead us down the road and how he wants to use all of us, as a family.

Just for fun - this guy was someone we met at the medical clinic that reminded us of Blaise.  ;-)

In closing, I wanted to share just a few pictures of some of the other families in our group that we've had the joy and privilege of sharing this journey with!

This was the sweetest family!  Anna and her husband have 5 biological children, Armond is her youngest who traveled to help with the baby.  He was a wonderful example to my older boys.  Anna is from Bolivia, her husband from Texas, and they are now living in Shanghai.

Danny and Amy who we spent a lot of time with.  Their little guy, Jeremiah, was from the same orphanage and foster home as Grace and they are buddies!  At the beginning of our trip, everytime Jeremiah would cry, Grace would start crying too.

Mike and Annie and their children.  Samuel and Isaac were adopted from Guatemala and were the same age as Caleb and Mace. They all had fun together!

Becky, Tanna, and Jay.  Becky and her husband were just 20 days away from bringing home a little Russian girl with down syndrome when Russia closed down all adoptions.  Lucy is in an orphanage where they sedate the children to keep them laying down - pray Russia would re-open so they can get her home quickly!

And here is the infamous baby picture.  Ours is the one screaming on the right because Mommy is more than 3 feet away.

I think she is scaring the other children.  And the hotel workers.  It may be awhile before I go anywhere alone.  ;-)

Guangzhou Day #3

I had to get a picture of the portion sizes here.   No wonder everyone is tiny!  These are the waffles and pancakes
in a 4oz tea cup at our last hotel.

This, however, is the breakfast buffet at our current, more "Western" hotel.  This is one of two rooms at our breakfast buffet - there is a second adjoining 

room filled with more food!  

This morning, Ron and Celese (the American doctors living in Shanghai) rejoined our group for the next steps of paperwork and appointments.  As we were talking with them, they shared about their best friends in Shanghai.  Apparently, Celease had told their friends about our large family and how she'd love for us to meet.  She told the friend our last name was Polk.  The gal said, is it Travis Polk?!?  Turns out the "friends" are Uriah and Marissa Mundell - a couple who were in our church and student group about 15 years ago, and are now living in Shanghai working for Campus Crusade!!!  Talk about a small world!

Everywhere we go people want to take pictures of the Americans.  Travis says teenager girls are the same all around the world.  The boys are a little embaressed by it.  Don't mind Danny in the background.  :-)

Today was a day off, so we did a little shopping.  I am not a big shopper, and especially not with crying babies in 100 degree weather. Travis, even less so.  ;-)  However, I was able to replace my lost watch for about $6 and it took all of 2 minutes with the help of our guide.  I'm not entirely crazy about it, but it tells time and was the first one I grabbed.  We also picked up just a few little things for the kids - a Christmas ornament for each, play bracelets for the girls, and watches for the boys.  

Pearls at the pearl market.

In the evening we went out for a group dinner, family style.  After a lunch of water and a Moon Pie (Really. The children ate better.) it was a welcomed meal!  These people have all been such a special gift to us during this trip.  Almost all of them are believers and were able to pray for us and encourage us when things were challenging.  If one of our children had a meltdown, they got it.  Chances are their child was biting at the same time.  ;-)  It's also been a joy to be a part of their story, and hear how God brought them together with each of their little ones.  There is nothing more encouraging than to hear how God is working in other's lives!  

Reed in his element.  Using a spoon for the first time.

Tonight was a bit more challenging.  Both babies were crying and only wanting Mommy.  As I laid down with them God was faithful to meet me right there on the floor.  As I thought "this is hard", the Lord reminded me that this is NOT hard.  Hard is my friend who lost a baby.  Hard is another friend who lost a husband.  Hard is the single mother, struggling to support her children. Hard is the children left behind in the orphanage.  Laying on the floor of a 5 star hotel with two crying babies (MY 2 babies) is not hard.  Stretching?  Maybe.  Sanctifying?  Absolutely.  Crying babies has always been challenging for me, and the more that are crying, the greater the stretch.  The verse that came to mind was "The Lord is compassionate and gracious.  Slow to anger and abounding in love."  Lord, help me continue to grow in abounding love.

In closing, I thought I'd share just a few fun pictures of life in China.  ;-)

We love the remodeling technique!  This was our hotel in Zhengzhou, which they were updating.  They would break out the windows and then push the old out the windows to the pile below.

This was the sidewalk scene in Zhengzhou as well.  No right of way for pedestrians!  One time there was even a car on the "sidewalk". My favorite combo were the Grandmas on the scooters with face masks, but I was never able to capture one on my camera.

And lastly, the Starbucks frappiccino flavors.  Strawberry Cheesecake Cream, Tiramisu, 

and the newest addition - Earl Gray Jelly!  Yum?

Guangzhou Day #2

So fun to see these guys smile!

This morning we had our medical exams for the kids.  Grace did great, but Reed was not much of a fan.  According to the scales, Reed weighs a whooping 21 pounds (2 more than 1 week ago when we got him!  I'm sure there is slight discrepency between two different scales, but encouraging none the less) and Grace 26!  Just 2 pounds lighter than Addie and 18 months younger.

Both of the kids passed, and Grace passed the hearing test with flying colors.  Our paperwork says she is currently registering a 40% hearing loss, but when the doctor held a large squeeky doggy toy off to the side, she turned her head at the noise.  "She hears very well" he said.  I had to surpress my giggles.  ;-)  I actually do think she hears quite well - but we'll find out next week for sure once we are home.

The rest of the day was spent napping, eating, snuggling babies, and working on some basic life long skills like the word "no".  ;-) The boys got in some good time with the babies, as well as building their skills at Subway Surf. ;-)

Grace is getting more comfortable around Daddy and will even say Dada - "Nana".  Due to her cleft (which is not fully repaired) she is limited in the sounds she can pronounce.  However, she will repeat my voice influctions when I run through our familly members, and when I say "no touch" - another skill we've been practicing.  ;-) She is energetic and fully of life.  She is also accustomed to getting her own way and not terribly happy when she does not!  She's learning her first Bible Verse - "A happy heart makes the face cheerful", and even though she can't say it, she smiles and nods her head yes for me when I tell it to her.  She's learned quite a few signs already and when she really wants something she'll start frantically doing them all at the same time - "More please, help please, drink, and thank you".

Little Reed is a snuggler and too busy eating to push any boundaries - yet.  ;-)  He and Grace are becoming buddies and love to run and laugh together in our room in the evenings.

On the cruise - Reed loves the hand sanitizer

The Canton Tower - 2nd tallest building in the world.

Tonight we got to go on a dinner cruise on the Pearl River, which runs through Zhengzhou.  Our guide had explained that the food was a bit authetic (think fish heads and chicken feet), so she ordered Papa John's to be delivered to the boat!  We told her that you could never do that in America - you would have to buy their food!

Tanna, Becky, and sweet little Jay - they live and
farm just 3 hours from us.

Anyway, it was a beautiful way to see the city and all of the buildings and bridges are lit up - many with colorful lights.  Tanna, her mom Becky, and their sweet Jay (the little guy with Spina Bifida who never stops smiling) joined us, and our guide Kathy, and we had a great time.

The above picture is the view we have from where we typicallly eat dinner.  You can't see well, but most of the porches are covered with laundry that is worn and tattered.  It's troubling to have access to unlimited food, wine, etc. for our meals and know that most of the world lives like this.  What a visible reminder of the brokeness we live in.

Only 4 more days until we are homeward bound!  This was the first thing Jackson said to us when we facetimed the other morning.  (Only then it was 6).  We can hardly wait to be back home and have all of our family together.  We miss our children at home terribly!  I have been showing their picture to just about anyone who will look.  ;-)

This is what my friend Amy (who we'll be flying home with) put on her blog in regards to the plane ride home "You can start praying now for our flight around the world.  Please start with the other people on our plane.  They will need some grace.  And maybe ear plugs.  We will need vodka.  Thanks in advance."  I laughed so hard.  Little Grace and Reed are actually pretty good travelers and fall asleep on us quite easily.  I think I am more worried about when we get home at 9:45pm.  It will be 7:45 am in China and I'm sure Travis and I will be sleep deprieved and exhausted.  I have a feeling they will be gearing up for their day - we'll see.  We'd love your continued prayers for a smooth transition!

Moving On...

Literallly and figuratively.  ;-)

Swim Caps

Yesterday we packed up and left Zhengzhou for Guangzhou.  
Resembling none other than the Clampets.  I have to admit I was not too sad to leave the chaotic traffic and scooter scene, nor the pollution.  

Saying goodbye to our sweet guides Vivienne and Yeisha - I told them they were Wonder Woman in disguise.   They were truly amazing - at the Passport Office we bypassed a man holding #1,335 for his number inline!

Upon arriving in Guangzhou, it felt like a different world!  no Scooters (banned).  No honking ($200 fine).  Clean Air and traffic lanes.  And my favorite - you can flush the toilet paper in your hotel room.  Ahh, amenities.  ;-)

Some friends in our group tipped us off - for a small fee we could upgrade to the "Executive Suite", which we get us a bigger room, free breakfast and dinner for us all and unlimited bottled water (no drinking the water in China), coffee, pop, etc.  

At the garden playground.  Grace was a little uncertain
about the water.

This morning we woke up and enjoyed a brunch.  We told our kiddos to enjoy, as we would probably never eat in a restaurant like this again once home!  

My oldest and youngest boys!

Waving for the camera

The rest of the day we spent relaxing, and it was wonderful.  We never even left the hotel, thanks to the upgrade! We all went to an outdoor playground on the roof of the 5th floor, took long naps, and Daddy and the boys worked on school.

Reed loves his big brothers

 We also did a bit of laundry - we've got our system down.  :-)  Wash in the tub, hang in the closet, turn on the hair dryer,and shut the door!  Don't worry, the floor is not carpet, and only once have we left and forgotten the dryer on.  Clean clothes in just a couple of hours.  ;-)

Travis needs the computer to do school, so headed to bed!

Reed's Orphanage

Reed and Grace are continuing to blossom and we are so thrilled!  Little Reed can eat more dumplings than me and we've got him smiling and playing.  It is adorable!  He is a sharp little guy and tries to imitate much of what we do - he's definitely taking it all in.  Both he and Grace can cry out quite a bit during the night, but Travis and I have been taking turns sleeping on the floor next to them (once they start crying out) and it seems to help.

Don't mind the baby crib
converted to clothes drying rack ;-)

Little Gracie has come alive!   She is warming up to Travis (some :-) - she did take him the can of formula yesterday for Reed's bottle, which is about the closest she's gotten since our first day.  She is still with Mama pretty much 24/7, but will play in the room where she is comfortable and does really well holding my hand to walk somewhere every time I ask her to.  When I try and show her the little photo album of our family, she shakes her head no and closes it up.  This girl has some spunk!  In her update we received on the day before meeting her, it said that "She cries if her request cannot be satisfied.  We try and talk with her when she is angry, but sometimes it doesn't work, and then we give her snacks instead to comfort her."   Food is most definitely her security.  She wants to hold any food item she can in each hand at all times.  When I work with her, it seems so simple - we love her and are taking care of her - she just needs to trust us.  As I was processing this, I couldn't help but realize how similar we are.  Instead of turning to God and trusting him, my inclination is to reach for food too.   I told her today that as she is learning to trust me, and find security with us, I am going to commit to trusting God more in this area as well.  We are going to learn together.  

His pajama pants won't stay on - he takes one step
and they fall right down!

As thankful as I am for how well they are both doing, yesterday was also a bit sad for me.  Daddy stayed back with all of the boys, and my traveling companion Grace accompanied me to Reed's finding place and orphanage.  

We stopped at his finding place first and my stomach turned a bit.  While driving there, I couldn't help but think of how heartbroken and grieved his birth mom must have been to leave him.  How could one ever recover?  He was most likely left because of his special needs, and his mother's inability to pay for the lifesaving surgeries he would need.  He was left at the entrance of a bustling trade center in the middle of the City; a risky venture as his Mama could have been arrested.  Abandoning children is illegal in China.  And yet, I know she must have loved him and wanted him to be found quickly.

As I took some pictures, my sweet guide wanted to take some with me in them.  I tired to say no thank you, but she insisted.  It felt awkward, but I didn't want to hurt her feelings.  Was I supposed to smile at a place that held such tragedy and heartbreak for my little boy and his birth parents?

Reed's Orphanage - Zhengzhou Social Welfare Institute.
 800 kids live here.

From there we went on to his orphanage.  With Grace strapped onto me, we were taken to the Show Hope room that he lived in for 1 month after leaving Maria's Big House of Hope.  Once again, the nannies, the nurse, and even the housekeeper were so excited to meet me and to hear that he had been adopted.  They wanted to see pictures of him and I was so glad to have one of him smiling on my camera to share.  "He's so skinny!" they exclaimed in their excitement.  "He used to be a chubby little boy!"  (I imagine he was 11 months ago at this size.)  I assured them that we working on fattening him up and that he'd be chubby again in no time.  They liked that.  ;-)

His Nanny in the Show Hope
Peter Pan Room, where he lived.

From there we began to walk to the apartment building where the "Foster Families" live on orphanage grounds.  I heard a wailing through the windows and saw two 8 year old boys - one kind of hunched over, clearly with disabilities and making the wailing noises.  The second boy smiled at us and led the first little guy along to help him in the bathroom.  My tears welled up a bit, I knew the chances of either boy being adopted at that age were nearly impossible.  Rarely does anyone want to take an older child.  I had tried to prepare myself for this type of thing - I knew it would be a hard visit.  I took a deep breath and we proceeded on.

These little guys were all strapped in a wheelchair to go for a walk.  When I squatted down and told them hi, the one on the left just lit up!  See picture below ;-)

When we got to Reed's apartment, the foster dad was there making lunch. The wife had gone to get his 5 foster brothers from "school" - a nearby preschool classroom on orphanage grounds.  The dad was cordial, and I learned that Reed had been with them 11 months.  He also shared some things that I struggled to believe were true.  I did not have a great feeling.  This was not the "hard" I had prepared myself for, nor what I had hoped for my precious little boy.  As my stomach turned again, it was all I could do to not dash out. There was another severly disabled young boy on a training potty stuck back in a bedroom. When I inquired why he was not at school, they replied that he was too "sick" to attend school.  

As we turned to leave, I thanked the foster dad and with tears rolling down my face I told him that we love Reed VERY much in FIRM and protective way.  I think I was gracious, but I'm also pretty sure my tone communicated HE IS MINE and stay away.

Reed's Foster Mom and four of his foster brothers.  (The little girl in pink did not live with them.) His special little friend Jian is smack in the middle next to the girl. I'm sure he misses Reed.

In the hall we were able to meet some other children as well as his foster mom and brothers.  I got to meet his special little friend - Jian - but he was too shy to come to me.  The Foster Mom did not want to take my gift, but I told her there was candy for the children, so she reluctantly agreed.

I was ready to march out the door with this little guy.  He was one of Reed's foster brothers and tiny like him!  He was taken from the black market by the police.

By the time we left I was silently weeping.  Partially for the children left behind, partially for Reed, but most of all for the fact that I came so dangerously close to missing this opportunity.  He's only been with us 5 days and already I can't imagine our lives without him.  It grieves me to think that I was initially resistant to bringing home this absolutely precious little boy.  As we left, I prayed "Thank you God, for rescuing Reed and for allowing me to be his Mama.  I don't know what all he has been through, but you do, and you are his loving Father.  Thank you that your grace is bigger than his past."