Life in the Pressure Cooker

I began this post over a month ago.  This Sunday it will be five months since our first day with Reed and Grace...

On November 14th we celebrated four months with Reed and Grace.  It's hard to believe how far we've come in such a short time.   It's been wonderful to see them get excited over new things, rather than be terrified, which was common initially.  Recently we were able to sit through church with both kids on our laps for the first time.  How refreshing!  What used to be routine has now become a victory.  ;-)

In four months a lot has happened, just very little time to think through it coherently or assimilate it into writing.  

Reed loves to be like Caleb!

We've had a full fall, while trying to slowly integrate back into life.  Caleb played football, Liam got bit by something (we're not sure what) that required an unexpected surgery and overnight hospital stay, and we've been scouring the country for a new place to live! 

We love to take walks in the evening as a family

When we returned from China we talked with our landlords who let us know they'd like to move back in the spring. We also had to sell our horses and cows.  :-(  Although we trust it was God's plan, every one of us cried, including the last remaining cow.  He stood at the barn and bawled for three days and I couldn't even take comfort in a happy ending - he'll be going to the butcher shortly.  August was an intense month; and in all honesty, at times it felt like too much.

On a happy note, we got celebrate two very special birthdays - Reed turned two on September 14th and had this was his first birthday to ever be celebrated, so we went all out! Grace followed shortly after on November 6th.    We now get to celebrate birthdays just about every other month of the year!

Grace got a baby doll

Another highlight we were blessed with (among many others)were free tickets to see Steven Curtis Chapman in concert. We were also given back stage passes and had the opportunity to meet him.  We've always been fans of his, but it was especially sweet to share pictures of Reed and tell him how well he was adjusting, since Show Hope (Steven's ministry) had taken care of him.

Both Reed and Grace have transitioned beautifully into our family, and with each passing week we seem to be settling into more of a rhythm.  What a joy it has been to watch God at work in their lives, and get to be a part of it!

Although Reed is technically the oldest, he's very much the baby of the family.  The change in him has not only been dramatic, but in many ways unbelievable.   When we first came home it was a sobering realization that we had a brought home a baby in an almost two year old body.  Rather than trying to see him as a two year old (he was so tiny) I realized I really needed to view him where he was at developmentally, which was much closer to a 12 month old.  It's been a joy to watch God begin to close in the gap between his development and true age, and get to be a part of it!

He's becoming quite a happy (and often silly) little guy.  He runs from room to room, and his sad cries when Travis or I leave have been replaced by yelling "BYE! BYE! BYE" at the top of his lungs while waving furiously.  He's learned to give kisses, and he was so thrilled with himself the first night he could, that he climbed all over each family member giving everyone kisses and laughing.   His sleep continues to improve and some nights he sleeps through the night.

Little Gracie is delightful -  full of life and spunk!  Her favorite activities include holding up a book (often upside down) and "reading"  LOUDLY - whether anyone is paying attention or not.  She also loves to stand on the fireplace hearth and sing and dance her heart out.  She keeps us entertained and I think we are all laughing more than we ever have!  

She will try and repeat just about any word we tell her and she can be very tender towards her siblings.  :-)  She can also throw a punch if she doesn't like what's going on.  We are working on that.  She has settled down tremendously from her initial tantrums and yielded to having authority in her life incredibly well.  Like most two year olds, adding the word "no" to her vocabulary has rocked (and is rocking) her world, but it has been so good for her.  And for
us. ;-)  

Although I feel like we are still in transition, the other kids have really been amazing.  Little Addie has probably had the hardest time, although she dotes on both Reed and Grace.  She loves to be a mommy, so she's definitely been in her element the past few months.  It's been a bit of a roller coaster emotionally, as she bounces between being Mommy's Helper and wanting to still be the baby of the family.  We've had many wonderful opportunities to practice emotional self control.  I'm thankful she's three and not sixteen.  ;-)  Many years left to continue practicing.

It takes all hands on deck to keep things running!

Overall if we had to rank whose had the most difficult transition, I'm pretty sure I'd get the prize. That's hard to believe when we've brought home two little people who've had their worlds completely turned upside down and suffered so much loss in their short little lives.

There's been two parts to the transition for me.  The first has been just learning to manage the needs of eight small people, while trying to be a helpmate to my husband, juggle homeschooling, and keep the home somewhat orderly.  I had anticipated most of these challenges, as adding a new baby always throws me for a bit of a loop.  Fortunately, at the point I told Travis I needed anti-depressants (only half way joking ;-)) a dear friend jumped in and helped me to streamline/organize my life a bit.  That was a tremendous encouragement and lifesaver for us all!

Watching the big boys chop firewood

The second piece was the spiritual piece, which I had NOT anticipated and has been humbling at best.  I've been reading a book called Glorious Ruin.  And a glorious ruin this has been.  While I'm still trying to sift through it, this is what God's been teaching me.

Almost two years ago I began praying that I would grasp the gospel in a deeper way - that I would understand how it affected me on a daily basis, and not as a one time event that my salvation was based on.  God has slowly helped me to gain that new understanding, but nothing like He has the past four months.  And certainly not in the way I was picturing.

I assumed that a deeper understanding would culminate in a "feel good" sort of way.  Maybe I'd become another Ann Voskamp - spending my days in a constant state of gratitude and joy for all that Jesus had done?   While my gratitude is certainly increasing, I did not anticipate the pain and the pressure that would precede it.  My theology has definitely needed a complete reworking, and God has been gracious to help me along.

God has been revealing to me the depth of my selfishness and sin.  I've learned that when the pressure is on in my life, all of my issues come rising to the surface.  It's taken the painful stretching for me to understand the gospel in a new light.   I've had seasons of being utterly dependent on the Lord in my life, but this season has taken my dependency to a new level.

I've come to a new understanding of what it means that God choose me, despite my lack of worthiness, and the fact that I had nothing to offer him.  In other words, I've realized just how broken and unattractive my life was, and is, apart from Christ.  It's been sobering and humbling, as God's revealed areas of pride.

And lastly, God has used this time to reveal idols my life.  Most of them have little, if nothing, to do with adoption.  And yet God has used the circumstances to bring to light lingering idols - the idols of comfort, of order, QUIET, my reputation, my kid's reputations, and a fear of man.  Just to name a few ;-)

Through it all, God has continued to carry me and show his grace in amazing ways.  He's  blessed our family beyond measure with such rich relationships and loving support.  And although it hasn't been terribly pretty, I've realized the first step in understanding the gospel more deeply, is a deeper understanding of my brokenness and need.  

Reed's Story

I've noticed a common trend among adoption bloggers - they all seem to fall out of blogging land once returning home with their children.  We are definitely following the trend.  ;-)  

We are actually doing pretty well and I plan to post on things soon.  The kids are doing beautifully - it's the mommy who is slightly overwhelmed.  ;-)  In the meantime I wanted to post something I wrote for Show Hope about Reed.  It's a bit of a summary of other blog posts I've written, but they are going to publish his story in their next edition of their magazine publication.  Now we just need to get some family pictures with everyone looking and hopefully smiling!

Reed' Story

As I sit to write, I’m choked just thinking about all Show Hope has done for our family, as well as our precious little boy.  Early on in our adoption journey we were blessed to be chosen for a Show Hope grant.  At the time, we had absolutely no idea that we would receive an even greater blessing - an incredibly special little boy from Maria’s Big House of Hope!

At just 3 weeks of age, our sick little Reed arrived  at MBHOH.  There he was loved, nurtured, and nursed to health for the first year of his life. While there, he had a loving nanny assigned to him, he received meticulous care, a much needed surgery, and weighed a whooping 18 pounds!  He was a chubby, happy, little guy, and thanks to Show Hope, we will soon have the pictures to prove it!

Sadly, at that point, his orphanage called for him to be returned.  Eleven months later, we had the joy and privilege of being able to adopt him.  He still weighed what he did when he left Show Hope’s care almost a year prior - 18 pounds.  He was developmentally about the size of a one year old, and he didn’t smile or make any sounds.  The day we received him, my husband described him as “listless”.

We were blessed to visit both Maria’s Big House of Hope and Show Hope’s special care center in the Zhengzhou Orphanage while we were in China.  What a gift it was to piece together our little boy’s life, and meet the people who had so lovingly and sacrificially cared for him!  

We had the joy of meeting the doctor who initially assessed our son, and helped with his surgery.  He lives with his family on site, working seven days a week, around the clock, to serve and care for the children.  We were thrilled to meet his nanny, and be able to thank her for lovingly pouring out her life for our child.

We also learned that a nurse had sat with our precious boy after surgery, and through his time in recovery, never leaving his side.  We were able to witness the amazing details given to keeping the children healthy and faithfully attended to - their photos posted next to their personal medicine bin and cubby, diaper changing stations in separate rooms from their living areas, towels marked with each child’s name.

We’ve now had Reed for exactly a month and he’s transforming before our eyes!  He smiles, laughs, and has 4 words.  He’s engaged with others and adores his siblings.

He’s gained three pounds and his night terrors have become almost nonexistent.  

We are tremendously grateful for the loving care Reed received during his first part of life at Maria’s Big House of Hope.  We are quite certain that without such wonderfully attentive care, that tragically, it’s very likely he would not have made it.  

We choose the name Reed for it’s meaning - “blessed”.  Our prayer has been that God would bless his little life, and now we can confidently SEE that God used Show Hope to answer our prayer in more ways than one.  He has indeed been so blessed, and our family has too.  Reed received the gift of life, and the gift of the grant helped make it possible for us to bring him home.  Thank you for making the sacrifice to invest in our precious child - he truly is a miracle!

Home Sweet Home!

We've been home two weeks now, and thanks to A LOT of help from friends and family, we are beginning to settle in nicely!  We were welcomed home with balloons, gifts, banners, as well as a clean house, a mowed lawn, countless meals, and even laundry done by very dear friends and family.  Thank you to all of you who have served us so sacrificially - we are incredibly blessed to live in such loving fellowship!

God was incredibly kind to us on our plane ride home, as it was smoother than I would have ever guessed.  Our very sweet rep, Jocelyn, took me to the airport and went all the way to security with me.  These women became such dear friends and helped us navigate everything from completing critical paperwork, to ordering our food for us.  We were utterly dependent on them at all times.  

While in the ticketing line, Jocelyn and I got into an interesting conversation about names and their meanings.  She was educating me about different chinese characters, and I asked her what Grace's Chinese name meant.  Apparently "Miao" (her first name) means "beautiful" and "Shan" means "graceful".  Considering we used Grace as her first name and Mei as a middle (also meaning beautiful) I thought that was pretty sweet.  I pressed a little further and asked what "Shan" meant - Reed's first name.  She responded, "Goodness, Kindness, or Blessed."  We choose the name Reed for it's meaning - blessed.  What a sweet gift from the Lord to discover this!

Our first flight was delayed for 3 hours, and we were fortunate enough to sit on the runway for the entire time.   That was perfectly fine with me as Grace was peaceful and then sleeping on my lap.  Upon our arrival to Shanghai, we collected our baggage and went in search of the American ticketing counter.  About 10 minutes after we arrived, I heard a voice say "Laura?".  I looked over, and it was Sun - the volunteer who had fallen in love with Grace at her foster home, and had been working with her since she was 4 months old!  He had no flight information for me, other than I was supposed to be in the airport 3 hours earlier.  The airport was easily twice the size of DIA and he had walked up and down praying that the Lord would lead him to us, which he did!

He very generously took us out to lunch in the airport, and he and his wife had made a beautiful book filled with pictures of Grace that he had wanted to hand deliver.  What a precious gift for us, and for her to have someday!

After he left, we let Grace run a bit, and found an IKEA playground to play on.  At one point a cleaning lady stopped and came over and just stared at Grace intently for quite some time, almost as if she recognized her.  When Grace would throw down a toy, she would smile and hand it back to her.  She hardly acknowledged us, although I greeted her in Chinese.  She just remained fixated on Grace.  I couldn't help but wonder - did she have to give up a baby at some time?  Is she wondering if Grace could be hers?  I knew the chances were slim, as we were so far from her birth city, and yet it made me wonder how many of these sweet women we'd met were grieving the loss of a baby they'd had to give up at some point.

So thankful for Mason!

Grace only had one serious meltdown, but it did last a good 20 minutes of full fledged yelling and screaming while strapped to me.  It felt more like an hour.  Unfortunately, we happened to be in the ticketing line and then customs, so we got LOTS of very unappreciative stares glares, as I know the fellow travelers were all hoping we weren't on THEIR flight.  One guy actually turned around and said "I hope you aren't sitting in 22E."  "Nope!" I replied in a rather sing songy way - "20E!".

We finally boarded our plane at 9:00pm and were fortunate enough to sit in the first row of economy with extra floor space!  After take off I spread a blanket on the floor and laid down with Grace while Mason got in one more episode of Captain America.  I'm not sure what people thought, but at that point I was so exhausted I really didn't care!

Our only hiccup was at LAX, as we had just over an hour to go through customs,  immigration, collect bags, re-check them, and leave the airport to go to a different terminal.  We probably needed at least three.  I'll spare all the details but God provided a wonderful lady from American who met me to tell me they'd help make arrangements for us to stay in Los Angeles overnight, as we couldn't possibly make our flight.  As it turned out, she wound up running through all types of security and stops with us and got us to our plane.  I told her just to leave the suitcases - I didn't care about them, just desperate to get to Denver!!  They closed the door on plane behind us and off we went - praise be to God!

What a welcome sight!!! 

Grandmas joined the welcome home committee!

It was so wonderful to get home and I've only had a few nightmares about being separated from my family since our return.  ;-)

The first week was spent trying to get over jet lag, which was absolutely horrific.  For all of us.  Those of you who stopped by can verify it's true.  ;-)  No sleep leads to fussy, crying babies (all day and hours of the night), and massive temper tanturms, which in turn had a domino effect on the other littles who'd been left at home, and a very discouraged mommy.  I'm trying to repress those memories.  I fondly nick named sweet Grace "Helen".  (Think The Miracle Worker)  As Travis said, the gospel is messy and so is adoption!  It's not for people just wanting to do something nice for children.  ;-)

3 am

6pm

At one point in the exhaustion I found myself feeling a bit frustrated.  Resentment was creeping in over selfish things - that I couldn't sleep in my own bed, make a phone call, or go to the women's breakfast at church.  But then God gently reminded me that I couldn't count the cost.  That laying down my life was what I was called to, and this wasn't about my comfort.  And most importantly, that love is NOT a feeling, as I wasn't always feeling terribly loving during that week.  The verse the Lord brought to mind was 1 John 3:16 - "This is how we know what love is - Jesus Christ laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers."  Nothing I was going through could compare to the pain Jesus experienced in shedding his blood for me.

Week two has been gloriously different - thankfully!  We've been to the doctor, ENT, and had our first home study follow up.  We've also had a friendly little fever/headache/vomit virus work it's way through the family, so we should be set for a bit.  ;-)  Both Reed and Grace are doing beautifully with their siblings, and their siblings adore them.  They've also gotten over their fear of the dog, and now like him, which is helpful.  Both have stopped screaming for the duration of our car rides.

Reed is continuing to blossom before our eyes.  He smiles and laughs, now has 3 words, has begun signing, and will wave bye-bye.  He's also gained 3 pounds and his night terrors have become almost non existent.  We give God all the glory!

Little Gracie is making tremendous strides as well.  Hers have not been so much developmentally, but emotionally.  She will go to Travis willingly now, and will snuggle and hold him.  She has also gone to sleep the past two nights without me rubbing her back or holding her hand!  I got to sleep in my bed for the first night.  ;-)

Next week we start up school, and Travis will head back to work.  This season of having him home has been bliss!  We seem to be staying afloat with two parents here full time and all the loving help we've received.   I asked Travis how we were possibly going to manage all of this (plus schooling and cooking!) with him back in school and work.  He said we are going to need extra grace from the Lord for sure.  It actually got me excited to see how the Lord will provide.  Stay tuned and pray for me if you think of it!  ;-)

One last night! (Hopefully ;-))

Don't be fooled - Travis says Reeds the man.

Last night we had a late night - scrambling to repack so Mason and I would have what we needed for the next couple of days, and Travis would be set for the plane.  I was a bit stressed as we sorted through the stacks of endless paperwork to make sure we each had the correct ones for the correct child.

A tired and slightly stressed Mama.
So thankful for these two and their Daddy.
  And that I only gained 1 lb in buffetland.

I didn't sleep well, as I felt fears creeping in - what if one of our planes crash?  Would Mason and I be safe to take cabs by ourselves here?  What if we get delayed even further?  How much more money do I need to exchange to get us through? What if we get sick?  (One of our guides had to go into the hospital the night before with sickness.) How much more money do I need to exchange to get us through?  It wasn't a good path to start down, and I tried to combat my thoughts with Isaiah 41:10 - "So do not fear for I am with you.  Do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you.  I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.",  and Deuteronomy 31:8 - "The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you.  He will never leave you or forsake you.  Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged."  I finally fell asleep around 3.

At 4:30am we got up to get Travis and the boys out the door.  Back to sleep for a bit and then down to breakfast.  Mason remarked "It's not as much fun without everyone here."  I wholeheartedly agreed.

Mason and I decided that it wasn't cost effective to stay in the bigger, more expensive room, and we could find different meals, so we downgraded our room and got our agencies special rate.  Just across the hall and one room down - easy peasy.

Next, after some reassurance from our guide that it was safe, we got a taxi to Shamian Island - a cute little island we'd been to last week.  One Mama described it as one of her favorite places on earth.

Grace wasn't too excited about the statues.

We had fun picking out a few small things for the boys, matching dresses for the girls, and then splurged on a Tirimasu Frappacino for lunch.  ;-)

We decided to pass on the Early Grey Jelly Tea flavor

Tonight we are going to have a pizza and movie night together.  Just in case you find yourself in Guangzhou on a Tuesday, Papa John's has medium pizzas for half price. ;-)  We may even try to take Grace for a quick swim in the pool, although she screamed in fear when we walked by it last week.  We'll see.

In the morning we begin our 30+ hour trek to MY favorite place on earth: HOME!  We leave at 6:15am for Shanghai, where we have an 11 hour layover.  That sounds slightly  torturous, but it will be one step closer! Mason has been an incredible help so far - I told him he'd be my first choice of someone to be in China with!  :-)

Travis and Company will still be in the air headed towards Denver when we depart, which seems strange.  We'd very much appreciate your prayers for safe travel as we navigate things without him!  I've always known I can have a tendency to rely on my husband, and in my flesh, often before Jesus. This past 24 hours it's become a realization that this is still an area of much needed growth!  (I'm sure he's smiling a sigh of relief.  ;-)  Sometimes it takes this old Mama a little while to catch on.

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we can ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us."  Ephesians 3:20.  Still in awe of all God has done for us to bring home the BEST two gifts from China!  ;-)

And SOO excited to be together again!  For a complete homebody, this has been a stretch!

We are headed home....

Not quite the way we were thinking, but heading home none the less.

We found out at breakfast that our Visas were in, and we quickly dashed back to our room to begin working on tickets.  After NINE painstakingly long (and expensive) hours on the computer and phone, we were finally able to secure tickets!  We couldn't get 6 tickets together, so Travis was very kindly trying to get me and some of the kids home first.

I'm not sure exactly where the plan went array, (and neither is he) but Travis, Caleb, and Reed will leave tomorrow morning at 5am for Shanghai.  They depart Shanghai at 4:50pm and will arrive in Denver at 9:25pm.  The rest of our team is already gone or leaves with Travis.

Mason, Grace, and myself get two more glorious days in China.  ;-(  My initial tears were not terribly appreciated, nor godly.  Our sweet guide Jocelyn will be here with us and we will be fine.   We depart Wednesday night, fly to Shanghai as well, and then fly to Denver via Los Angeles.

I continue to be confident that the timing is all in God's hands, and at the same time so anxious to have my children in my arms again!  Thank you again to every one of you who has prayed for us, and given so generously of your time and resources so that Reed and Grace do not have to grow up as orphans.  We can't wait for the day when they can understand how many people invested so loving and sacrificially in their lives!

Looking forward to seeing you all soon!  ;-)

And The Verdict Is...

No visas today.  My heart did sink a bit, as I know we are headed into the weekend and the offices in DC will most likely be closed.  We heard a rumor at breakfast that the government would work over the weekend; we are hoping it's true!

Caleb and Mason with sweet Lily.  She had two heads at birth and was not expected to live.  She's now 3 and knows 3 languages!

For the most part we've met some other very nice families in our hotel also waiting.  One poor mommy from North Carolina had her cell phone stolen from her purse, by a pick pocket outside of our hotel.  

We sat next to a rather angry couple from Texas at breakfast.  I tried to engage them in conversation, but our conversation was sprinkled with a fair amount of profanity.  I was glad my boys were busy getting food.  That particular couple was definitely more of an exception.

We were going to try and go to the zoo today, but Mason was throwing up last night and Reed this morning.  We splurged and sent laundry out to be washed instead.  We've been trying to doctor things up with Shout wipes and baby powder, so it will be nice to have some truly clean clothes! 
Both boys seem to be doing better now and Grace is getting over a fever.  As I've rocked them on the floor, I've thought how thankful I am to be here and be able to care for them, and so thankful they are finally with us after nearly two years.  Today actually marks two years to the day,  that we decided to pursue adopting from China!

Our new sweet friends Tony and Ana were able to return home to Shanghai yesterday and very kindly took our gifts to deliver to the Healing Home where Grace lived.  Not an easy task when you have to hire a driver to go anywhere.  Thank you again to all the dear ladies who put so much time into sewing the tabby blankets!

My wonderful Mother in law has been bending over backwards to help with our children at home.  She is keeping them as much as she can, and busy coordinating with other dear friends who are helping.  Thank you to EVERYONE who has offered to help, and has loved on them for us!  This is by far the hardest aspect of not being at home!  Each time we talk to them Liam wants to know if we are coming home "tomorrow?"  He keeps pointing to the paper chain countdown and telling us there is only 1 left.  Addie brought Grandma a section of the newspaper and said they were papers for Reed and Grace to come home.  We miss them terribly and are tremendously thankful that they are in good hands.

Lest you think all of our conversations have been deeply spiritual, I thought I'd share a small nugget from the other morning. ;-)

Me: "Caleb, can you please take the toy out of your mouth?"
Caleb: "But it is a TEETHING toy!"
Me: "For babies!"

We are finding humor where we can. ;-)

It's so cute when this little guy raises his hands 

to be picked up!

I found myself trying to think outside the box at nap time in regards to getting home.  A boat?  A train to another country? Bring Grandma and the kids here?!?  (Now would be a very convenient time to work for the airlines!)  Our reps have told us that the Chinese Army is doing training here and have reduced the departing flights by 75%.  We are praying for God to provide in a miraculous way.

We'll get another update in the morning, but for now we are focused on Psalm 62:1 - "My soul finds rest in God alone, my salvation comes from him.  He alone is my rock and my salvation.  He is my fortress I will never be shaken."  Thank you for your continued prayers - as anxious as we are to get home, we are definitely experiencing a peace that surpasses all understanding.

We're Hopeful....

That tomorrow will be the big day!  This reminds me a lot of the end of pregnancy - and all the Mommies will know what I mean.  ;-)  Every day you are HOPING that it will be the day, and trying not to cry if it isn't.  ;-)

We are not wearing the same clothes every day - It is an optical illusion.

This morning we did the usual breakfast buffet routine and then headed to a Carrefour - a french version of Wal-Mart.  Gracie had gotten into the probiotics so we were in need of more diapers.  ;-)  Enough said.  She will have a very clean system by the time we get home.  

We also picked up wipes and more Oreos - the essentials.  Raspberry, Tiramisu, Green Tea Ice Cream, and Lemon.  Don't worry, all snack size.  ;-)  We also found our white elephant gift for this Christmas.  In fact, it was so good, we bought 
two.  ;-)  Look out Yackey team!

We found some China size skillets ;-)

And a tiny box of Cheerios for $3!

This scooter opened and closed which the boys 

thougth was pretty fun.

When we came out it was pouring rain and the Daddies all had to chase down cabs.  One of them somehow lost his footing and feel over backwards into the bushes - I missed it but we all still got a good laugh!

Looking forward to car seats and driving laws!  Lanes seem to be more of a suggestion here.

This afternoon we headed back to the park and Caleb and Mason tried out the amusement park ride where they got to ride a "pedal car" - they pedeled around the amusement park in a car on a track.  Travis said "can you imagine a kid in America wanting to ride this?!?"  They've also gotten to watch the Lego movie with Sam and Isaac and play lots of UNO!

Our naptime on the floor ;-)

I'm really trying to enjoy this time with my 4 precious kiddos here and it has been very sweet.  Reed and Grace are really making progress.  It's fun to see them smile so much (I was truly concerned it would be months for Reed), Grace is no longer panicked in the elevator.  She gets a bit stressed but I can talk calmly to her and reassure her.  This is good, as we are on the 12th floor.  Both are very interactive and try to imitate what we do, and Grace has been giving me kisses.  She gave Reed a kiss tonight as well.  She seems to be understanding some of our english and we've been able to teach her to sign "help please" rather than throw a fit; she signs it most of the time!  She dances to music, which is precious.  Lastly, Daddy is reading to them now, and this is the closest she's gotten to him voluntarily and happily!  

Reed is doing great, just developmentally and physically like a one year old.  Travis and I both remarked tonight that we keep having to remind ourselves he's almost two.  I'm sure in time he will catch up just fine.  

We'll let you know what happens tomorrow; thank you again for all of your sweet prayers and notes!  I'm sorry I haven't had time to reply to each of you but we've been so encouraged by each of you, and are incredibly blessed to have such loving friends!

Still Waiting

I realized that on yesterday's post, I did not share any of the beautiful pictures of the park - only the boys exercising!  Here's just a few - 

Looked like Hawaii (minus the pagodas ;-))  We heard the heat index was 112 degrees.  We were drenched in sweat!

Some of the translations here are quite funny.

Still waiting with no Visas!  I tried to convince Travis to fly home today with the boys but he would not hear of it.  I reminded him that we are now the proud owners of a "Happy Dino" umbrella stroller and a gifted Ergo, and that we could make it even if the babies were crying.  He just smiled. ;-)  I am so anxious for at least one of us to get to our children!

It's funny, we really haven't been here that much longer than initially planned.  It's been 3 days since we found out about the government shutdown which makes it feel a bit longer.  It's a bit of a nightmare to my Mama's heart to have half of my children so far away and for this long.  

And yet there is much to be thankful for.  We are safe, we have accomodations, and access to pretty much whatever we need.  We are in very good hands here, and we serve a loving sovereign God.  Half of my family is here with me.  And I keep thinking about Miriam Ibrahim, the Sudanese woman married to an American, who was imprisoned and sentenced to death for her faith this spring.  She delivered her baby in prison.  We just saw on the news last night that she has been released.  Nothing could even come close to such a scenario.

It's been interesting to see how others react.  Some are crying.  Some are contacting there congressmen.  Amy is being interviewed by CBS news out of Denver tonight at nine!

 Jeremiah, Grace, and Reed

Jeremiah and Grace were in the same foster home and are buddies!  Usually the run around and flap their hands up and down, but that is a little harder to catch on film.  ;-)

Someone in the States anonymously treated us all to a pizza party this afternoon.  Otherwise we mostly stayed near the phone, just in case! 

Grace and I

We just received an update that the Consulate here will not work tomorrow.  However, they will go into the office on Sunday morning at 10:00 am to check and see if the system is up and running in DC.  If it is, they will begin issuing Visas at that point.  Hopefully that will be the case!

Waiting....

Last night received word that there was a worldwide "drop" (shut down?) in Washington DC and that no Visas were able to be issued.  Unfortunately, we cannot leave the country without Reed and Grace's Visas.  We cannot leave the city, as their passports are at the Visa office with our applications.

We were told to get rest and meet in the lobby at 8:30am, and our guides sounded hopeful.  We were told the government would be working through the night.

This morning when we entered the lobby I could tell there was no news (or not good news) based on people's faces.  Psalm 34:14-15 began to run through my head - "But I trust in you O Lord; I say you are my God.  My times are in your hands..." We ate breakfast and were told to stay in the hotel or Starbucks (they know American's vices!) in case things changed.

Back to the room we headed to pack.  Our family was peaceful and somewhat hopeful that we would still be able to make our flight to the US tomorrow night from Shanghai, as we had a full extra day of cushion in Shanghai.

Our usual lunch of peanut butter bananas (bananas courtesyof the breakfast buffet) and ramen noodles (courtesy of 7-11 next door ;-)

By 4pm there were still no Visas and our guides told us we would not be able to make our flight to the states tomorrow night.  We would need to leave our hotel by 10am to make all the right transfers and connections and that is unlikely. As I felt myself get a bit choked I thought "My times are in your hands."  I can be peaceful.  God is in control.  Praying that our responses will bring God glory to those around us.

24 hour fitness!  Caleb, Mason, and I went to a beautful nearby park while babies napped and Daddy did school.

We stopped and got McDonalds ice cream cones on the way home.  Mason's was green tea and Caleb's vanilla with coffee!  It was so yummy we went back
so I could get one.  ;-)

At this point things are very up in the air.  It is difficult to be so far from home with no phone service and not speak the language.  Trying to figure out a good plan for my kids over email and texting is a bit stressful.  Thankfully my kids are in wonderful hands and we've been blessed with unbelievable guides.  Despite my readiness to be home and with my other children, the Lord has given us all a peace today.  God's grace I am sure.

I am on the phone with American Airlines right now trying to sort some of these decesions out.  They can get us out this weekend for $24,000.  Not encouraging.  They can get us out next week for an additional $8,500.  Please pray for wisdom and that we would be able to get home safely and soon.  Despite my peaceful day, I can feel my fears being a bit stirred as we have on CNN - talking about the plane crash in Taiwan today and the other plane that went missing our Algeria.  I'm choosing not to watch.  "My times are in your hands".

We'll keep you posted as we can.  Much love to you all from China!

Last Full Day in Guangzhou!

This morning was our Consulate appointment at the US Embassey.  This was the appointment that our whole trip was scheduled around to apply for our children's Visas to the US.  All adoptive families in China must come here to obtain the Visas.

Tomorrow they will be delivered to our hotel at 4:20pm and then we depart for the airport 1 hour later.  We will fly into Shanghai, spend the night, and then some combination of our family will visit Grace's foster home - Shanghai Healing Home.  After her difficult first day with us, we've decided that it could be too hard on her little heart to go back and visit.  We do not want her to experience the grief she did the first day of having to say goodbye again.  So either Travis or I will stay back with her, while the rest of the family visits and delivers gifts.  That evening (Friday) we will fly out of Shanghai to Dallas, and then Dallas to Denver!

Our group, minus Ron and Celese who had their Consulate appointment yesterady.

As our trip is coming to a close, we've had some wonderfully deep conversations as a family.  Caleb and Mason understand that we did not bring them here to see China, or experience the culture, although that was a wonderful bonus.  We brought them to experience the gospel in this unique way, and live it out.  I believe they've done that.  Travis told me when Caleb was two and Mason was one, that he wanted to adopt when they were old enough to understand why we were doing it.  In His loving kindness, God has brought that to fruition.

We've also discussed the parallels between Reed and Grace's adoption, with OUR adoption into God's family.  Just as their story began with great loss, so did ours - a seperation from Christ that cost Jesus his life.  And just as their has been a beautiful redemption for each of us, so there is redemption for Reed and Grace.  As we have a new identity, so do they.  Not because of anything Travis or I have done, but all because of Christ.  

Just today we had opportunity to talk through how Reed and Grace have habits that need to be re-taught.  Yes, they have come from broken backgrounds and have had difficult things.  And yet the loving thing to do is to begin re-teaching them correctly, just as we have had to re-learn life as new Christians.  I am amazed at the grace God has poured out - it is so much easier to be patient with them than my biological children.  Partially because I have no expectations for them to behave correcty.  And partially (to my shame) I do not struggle with their behavior being a reflection of my parenting.  I have not been a part of their lives since birth.  I need to grow more in my parenting at home and not be so prideful - that is where the shame comes in.  I need to continue to grow in my identity and not worry about what other's are thinking.

Lastly, we've discussed sacrificial love, what it means to lay down our lives for another, and how Jesus has done that for each of us.  We've discussed the Great Commission, and what God might have next for our family now that we have a connection with this culture.  While we believe that we are done adding to our family, we are very open to whatever God might have for us to share the love of Jesus.  We are excited, and looking forward with anticipation to where God might lead us down the road and how he wants to use all of us, as a family.

Just for fun - this guy was someone we met at the medical clinic that reminded us of Blaise.  ;-)

In closing, I wanted to share just a few pictures of some of the other families in our group that we've had the joy and privilege of sharing this journey with!

This was the sweetest family!  Anna and her husband have 5 biological children, Armond is her youngest who traveled to help with the baby.  He was a wonderful example to my older boys.  Anna is from Bolivia, her husband from Texas, and they are now living in Shanghai.

Danny and Amy who we spent a lot of time with.  Their little guy, Jeremiah, was from the same orphanage and foster home as Grace and they are buddies!  At the beginning of our trip, everytime Jeremiah would cry, Grace would start crying too.

Mike and Annie and their children.  Samuel and Isaac were adopted from Guatemala and were the same age as Caleb and Mace. They all had fun together!

Becky, Tanna, and Jay.  Becky and her husband were just 20 days away from bringing home a little Russian girl with down syndrome when Russia closed down all adoptions.  Lucy is in an orphanage where they sedate the children to keep them laying down - pray Russia would re-open so they can get her home quickly!

And here is the infamous baby picture.  Ours is the one screaming on the right because Mommy is more than 3 feet away.

I think she is scaring the other children.  And the hotel workers.  It may be awhile before I go anywhere alone.  ;-)